Please... Just leave me alone.

Guys... you know what I'm talking about. Girls.... maybe it's not the same for you, but there is a phenomenon that occurs in the men's locker room. I notice it usually in the morning. Early in the morning. I'm talking 5:00-7:00 AM. Here's an example of it:

I had turned over a new leaf (trust me my tree is running out of leaves to turn over) and decided that I would workout for an hour before school. There are so many benefits to that.

#1) I get some exercise which I don't have time for at any other point in the day
#2) Exercise is great for a number of things from reducing low back pain (can you tell I'm a chiropractor) to reducing your risk of cardiovascular disease.
#3) A little exercise in the morning can give you a boost of energy for the day.
#4) I'm fat..... ANY HOOO...

I got up at 5:30 AM three days in a row. On the third day I was a little late waking up so after my workout I had to put in my contact lenses in the locker room. So, I had just showered and dressed and was in the process of putting in my left lense when this old fat dude waddles up to me dressed in only a towel tossed over his right shoulder. He enters my "bubble", you know my personal space, squints at me and says, "That's disgusting. I don't want to walk in here and see you diggin' in your eyeballs. Why would I want to look at that? Can't you do that at home?"

WHAT?!? Sir, there are parts of your body that haven't even dragged in from the showers. Your bloated, saggy, naked body is in my personal bubble and all you can think to do with your towel is keep your shoulder warm. You're calling my contact lense, which if I dropped it on the carpet you'd never find, DISGUSTING?

This really smacks at a greater issue. Let me illustrate further:

Another morning; another leaf. I've just come from the shower and I'm standing my towel trying to work the combination on my locker. Some middle age guy with glasses so thick he can surely see my future, walks up right behind me and shouts (because he's half deaf) "DO YOU WORK DOWNTOWN?". I try to ignore him because surely you don't just stroll up to some 240 lb black man, you've never met, while he's standing there in his towel and ask... WELL ANYTHING! But there he was. And there I was.

Look NEW RULE OK? If we haven't met before we walked into the locker room don't talk to me! If we haven't exchanged friendly nods, shook hands, stood in line by each other for the drinking fountain, or even parked in the same row of the parking lot. DON'T TALK TO ME FOR THE FIRST TIME WHEN EITHER YOU OR I AM NAKED! Ok? Can we do that for each other? Can we have that level of non-freakiness and respect? And for crying out loud... if you have the towel, cover your wrinkly JUNK!

Thanks in Advance!

-Jason Young

No Idols Before Me (American or Otherwise)

In this blog I will wax philosophical and religious. If you're not down with that... I won't apologize... my blog, my rules. But if you're a heathen consider yourself duly warned and I hope you appreciate that I've just saved you some time with this subtle warning. :D

Now... The second Sunday of every month I teach the Elders at church. This week the topic was the first commandment: "Thou shalt have no other Gods before me." It was a really cool experience teaching it this week because it was one of those experiences where I was learning as I was teaching. The Holy Ghost brought things to my mind which were better than what I prepared. Here is the gist of what I learned in my lesson today.

Me and Mandy took the little girls to the Clark County Fair just a little north of Vancouver, WA. It was a total blast. We saw all of the interesting things there including a monster truck rally. I found myself feeling escpecially red neckish as I whooped at truck hurling over mudpits and dirt mounds. We rode some rides and ate the fair food (and paid the price later).

We always go to the pavilion. I remember when I was in middle school I could never understand what was cool about the pavilion with rows and rows of overpriced cookware, waterproof house siding, airbrushed T-Shirts, etc. But now that I'm a boring adult testing the limits of mortality at 30 years old, it's the most interesting thing at the fair. Go figure.

This year I was really on the lookout for chiropractors. You may have seen them at fairs before doing evaluations of people's spines with crazy electronic devices or contraptions with colored strings. There is some debate in the world of chiropractic as to whether this is just a practice for hacks. Since I'm planning on starting a practice in January I wanted to see if this is a marketing tool I want to use. So I talked to all of the chiropractors I saw there. One guy in particular gave me his card and told me that he does some coaching for people who want to improve their chiropractic practice.

I noticed that on his card he had the symbol of a cross worked into his logo and a scripture on the back. When I got home and checked his website he gave me, it was full of Christian influence. He was very up front with his ideas about the benefits of faith in God and the values of chiropractic. His faith was very pervasive in his marketing materials. I started to wonder.... I this guy a better Christian than I because his faith is such an outward expression?

I shared this story and posed the question to the class. I heard a range of responses from ideas that he does this to attract Christian clientele to his pushing his beliefs too much on other people. My thoughts were that he was being genuine and that I admired his fearlessness in expressing his faith. For my own clinic I have purchased art that contains quotes from the modern prophets that I plan to display in each treatment room. But to me this seemed that this man, who is very financially successful, puts nothing before God.

Then I began to think about the scripture that says: "Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you." This is when a great revelation came. I am always thinking/praying: "God if you will just give me I promise I will use it for your glory, to spread the gospel, etc." or "God when I am rich I will feed the hungry and clothe the naked, if you'll just make me rich." THERE'S A PROBLEM HERE. I have it backwards don't I? The commandment is that I will put no other gods BEFORE Him. Or in other words, I shouldn't be desiring the "tools" I think I need to do His work first. I should be feeding the hungry and clothing the naked right now. It's Kingdom first.... Things second, even if the things are for the kindgom.

Here I was asking about how to make my dream of having a chiropractic clinic, helping my community, healing people, supporting my family, etc. at the CLARK COUNTY FAIR! With all of the things I want my clinic and my career to mean I was looking for guidance in the exhibition hall among the ginsu knives and miracle cleaning solutions. If I was putting the kingdom first I would be praying more, fasting, looking heavenward more for my marketing plan. I know that God puts people in our paths to help us but if I'm being honest with myself (and now everybody reading) I was putting my clinic before the kingdom, not the other way around. Before seeking His help I wanted to see what my colleagues thought.

WAIT! Do you hear that? It's the sound of me changing my focus. I need to approach this whole thing from the top down rather than from my head or my heart.

Another epiphany was related to the idea that God is a jealous God. It says this several times in the Old Testament. The phrase never really sat too well with me. I mean, jealousy is bad right? I picture jealousy and see some bratty kid whining because they don't have ice cream. Or I see some ex-boyfriend punching out new boyfriend over a girl. The thought just goes contrary to my whole concept of and experience with God. BUT today I finally got it.

If you are the parent of a teenager, at some point you have to come to grips with the fact that the major influencing factor in just about every decision your child makes is not you. It is his or her friends. This is absolutely true. Think back to your teen years or read any number of research studies that have been done on the topic. It's friends first during adolescence. How must that feel when it comes to the more important decisions in life that my little girl will be more interested in what little Sally, who's parents don't care how she dresses, thinks than in my opinion? I'm sure I'll make the top 10 opinions that matter, but it might hurt that I'm not number 1 or at least second place to my wife. Now it makes sense. THIS is the jealousy that God feels. Wait a minute! That's not jealousy at all! It's LOVE!

God loves us and knows what's best for us, just the same way that I'll know whats better for my daughter when she's 13 than any kid at school. It must hurt when we decide that the guy at the county fair has a better idea of what we need than He does. Now, I know that when I pray more for His help with my clinic an operations manual and an $80,000 small business grant is not necessarily going to plop onto my door mat. BUT I will find that I will receive the most perfect guidance and the best gifts from Him. God is perfect. He CAN'T do less than His best, and His best is perfection. What more could I possibly ask for?

"Thou shalt have no other gods before me." Even if the other gods can cut through a tin can and still slice paper-thin tomato slices.